There I was sitting tonight in my Faith Works class typing away in my Evernote file all moments, ah-ha’s and challenges that God was leading me to.
This is so clear in my mind right now that I need to share before it slips away. This is another real moment for me here.
You need to know something about me.
My entire life has been a challenge, a kinda big one. So much that I easily zoned myself into work and made financial success the true meter of my happiness and goals in this life.
And I was really good at it.
But this new journey, well it hasn’t been easy. It has flipped my brain around a bit because technically I shouldn’t be this challenged.
That’s what happens when God grabs your heart.
I said before in another post that God really wasn’t even in my thoughts back then and I realized that other night …. I was still relying on my own ability.
My ability, not God’s.
So there I was sitting in class again tonight, I have heard this lesson before. Tonight it had a whole new meaning.
What I am building is instructed by God, I am to build my little heart out knowing this one thing ...
GOD IS WITH ME WHILE I BUILD
Now as a Christian you may read that and say “well of course Vera, God’s always with you.”
But you have to remember, I was a single Mom at age 17, an entrepreneur by age 20 mostly because I had no other choice, or so I thought.
I worked my butt off and my entire 20’s is a complete blur.
I remember coming home one night to the house quiet, kids sleeping in bed and a note that was on the floor that was written out by my youngest daughter … “Mommy when are you ever coming home?”
“Mommy when are you ever coming home?”
Her little fingers picked up a pen and wrote that out, that hurt so deep that I started to feel like I was dying inside.
My life was about working, day in day out. I would be at the store by 8am and be home around 10pm most days.
Day in and day out, sad thing is for most of those days I did love it.
I did it all without God, now because I am not relying on my own strength any longer I find it really hard to wrap my brain around the fact that it’s so hard this time around.
But I know this …. God is with me and I need to simply listen to Him.
He knows my heart and as I type my little angel will never have to feel that way ever again. I am building a business for Him & with Him.